How to Stop Overspending When You Have ADHD
Payday hits, and this time you’re going to be a ‘responsible adult’ instead of overspending and hitting buy now on your Sephora cart. Then you blink, and you're staring at your bank account, wondering where TF it all went.
Why does this always happen to you, what can you do to break the cycle, and is this connected to ADHD??
I am about to get to all of those questions with answers that are specific to folks with ADHD because (to answer the last question first) there is a connection. There are many different reasons there’s a connection, and I’m sure I’ll get into some of them here because I know that, at your core, to create changes, it’s important for you to understand the logic behind the things I’m going to suggest.
Why Do You End Up Overspending Consistently?
It’s the constant dopamine hunt that our brains are on. Shopping and spending money creates dopamine all along the way.
Hunting for something that is going to solve a problem or bring us joy - dopamine
Finding a great deal for the thing we want to buy - dopamine
Hitting add to cart and buy now - you guessed it - dopamine
Tracking the delivery - more dopamine
Seeing the box (even if we don’t remember what’s in it) - a little more dopamine
And the final dopamine hit? Opening the box and using whatever we bought the first (and maybe even the second) time
Not to mention that our amazingly creative brains can build a perfectly logical case for buying something we would have said no to yesterday. We can often logic ourselves to the point where we believe something is a need and we have to have it, so it’s no wonder it’s a common thing for folks with ADHD to spend more than they planned to, and often not realize it until it’s too late.
It Happens to ME Too!
Yes, even as a financial coach with my financial ducks lined up (for the most part), there are times when I overspend and don’t realize it until it’s too late to do anything about it. I think it’s important to be transparent, so I talked about this on a podcast recently, which I hope you check out. To be even more transparent, I’m currently waiting on delivery of skincare products from three different companies because, well, ADHD! Keep an eye out for my skin to age in reverse!
But, what I shared in the podcast episode started with a new (to me) app. I'm not naming it, because I don't want it making YOU spendy. It was full of low-cost things I thought I needed, and we LOVE a deal. A deal feels like winning, so the dopamine shows up before the purchase even clears.
I didn't catch it from a spreadsheet or even from my bank account. I'd just set my phone to show screen time right on my home screen, and seeing how long I was on that one app made me pause. Then my bank account told a similar story! My hubby and I each get personal spending money every payday. The idea is that we can spend every cent without hurting our overall finances. In my spending account, I typically like to keep a bit of a buffer, but after seeing the time spent on the app, I realized that buffer was pretty small. That inspired me to make some adjustments, which have (mostly) been working.
My point in sharing this is for two reasons.
To let you know that if you’ve been nodding along to this, you’re in good company (or at least I like to think so).
If you ended up here reading this because you’re feeling shame and guilt about overspending, there are things you can do to shift things that are easier than you think.
What Can You Do to Break the Overspending Cycle?
There are a few things that seem too damn easy to be impactful solutions, but stick with me, and trust me enough to give them a try. As an ADHDer myself and a financial coach (of 8+ years) who works with folks with ADHD and AuDHD, I have had more conversations than I can count about overspending (many of them in my own head), so I like to think I know my stuff!
First, let’s start with what NOT to do…
1. Focus on Restriction
Restriction, even when we're the ones doing the restricting, makes us want to rebel. Rules that feel like a cage get abandoned fast, often with a long line of logic on why. Any plans we make for our money (or lives) that say we will never….or always…get abandoned even faster than we can drain our account by shopping!
2. Track Every Transaction
For ADHDers, long-term change does not come from a setup that requires us to track and categorize every transaction. This is a big reason why budgeting apps keep failing ADHD brains! It’s not sustainable for any length of time. Tracking at this level may give us dopamine for a little while, but it rarely lasts beyond a week or two.
3. Beat Yourself Up
No matter what your bank account and credit card balances look like right now, it is not because you suck as a human (I promise)! The fact that you’re here reading this is an important indicator that you’re ready for change. Dwelling on what past you did or didn’t do doesn’t help you move forward. So I encourage you to focus on where you want to go, not where you’ve been.
Now, let’s look at what you CAN do to help curb your overspending:
1. Set up a Spending Account
I will say this on repeat until every damn ADHDer has heard it at least a dozen times: Separate your spending and your bills (at a minimum). Ideally, you look at your overall numbers to decide how much you can move to a spending account, but you can also just start by moving an amount that you’d typically spend to get rid of any barriers to getting started. But if you’re ready to look at your big picture, I’ve got a free tool that can help you.
This works for a lot of different reasons, but the big ones are:
It helps us see how much we actually have to spend vs. rarely, if ever, having that answer when it’s all in one account.
It gives our creative brains a way to be creative that isn’t coming up with logic on why you ‘need’ to buy that new skin serum. Instead, that creativity can look like: I have $100 left in my spending account to get me to next Friday, but I want to buy this fancy new thing I’m hyperfocused on right now that is $50, so how can I make the other $50 cover everything else until next payday?
The path to finding the answer to ‘can I afford it’ is so much shorter than having to do all the math with what’s happening in your bills account.
I personally like having my $ for spending at a different financial institution than our bills account. There are a lot of no-fee online options, but I personally have mine set up at KOHO. If you’re also Canadian and looking for a new place to set up an account, feel free to use my referral link to get started. I love that it has different ways to stash my money so I can see how much I have left to spend in different areas (so now I can see I have $0 to spend on skincare for the next week and a half 🫣)!
2. Stop using Apple/Google Pay
I said what I said! I know it’s easy, but that’s a big part of the issue. Without any friction between you and overspending, it’s too damn easy to rinse and repeat the payday to where TF did all my money go cycle forever! If stopping altogether creates more issues because you can’t keep track of a debit card no matter what you try, set up a spending account and only have that card connected. I promise, this is very impactful, because the first time you’re sitting down relaxing and ready to hit buy now, and you’re not willing to get up and grab your card, you’ll realize how impactful it is!
3. Unsubscribe/Block, and Use Screen Time Restriction Apps
Do what you can to limit your exposure to ads and marketing efforts to try and get you to spend your money. Know that they are EVERYWHERE! Companies spend millions of dollars to get us to spend money, and it works. By limiting what hits your inbox, notifications, and mindless scrolling on social media, you can reduce your temptation to spend.
Basically, it comes down to knowing we have the self-control of a toddler and putting things in place to help set us up for success.
Can This Actually Work? One Client's Story
A client I've worked with for about a year just got back from a big trip. We'd planned and stashed money for it for months, and she still overspent a little. (That's okay! It happens.) What changed? She mainly used her spending account on her trip to be able to see where she was. But the bigger things that changed were the fact that she knew she overspent, but more importantly, her response. This time she had a plan to pay off the overspending!
And to brag about her even more for a second, she's on track to end the year with LESS credit debt than she started with, for the first time in over 20 years! The whole time we’ve been working together, she has NEVER tracked the transactions that happen in her spending account.
About the Author
Sherry is an ADHD financial coach who knows exactly how fast a new app can turn a calm payday into a shopping spree, because she has been there too. She helps adults with ADHD build practical money systems and accountability that fit how their brains actually work, so spending money can be fun again without the guilt. Ready to build yours? Let's chat.
